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Post by Sicarius on Sept 21, 2007 17:39:31 GMT -5
Jenn, I have decided we needed a zombie board. we shall post the rules of zombieness here! Bwuahahaha!! K peeps, this might contain some strong language, so if you can't take it look away. If not, have fun in Zombie Attacks for Extreme Dummies xDD ---- Oh! and here is some stuff I found on DeviantArt I thought you might enjoy. --- (Here are some Silent Hill rules. Not zombies but related. So here they are, thanks to Monique, who like zombie rule #40) 1. If ashes are falling from the sky, don't stick out your tongue and try to catch them. Don't play in the compiles of ashes on the ground. Don't build little ash snowmen. Just keep moving. 2. If you see a little girl that resembles your friend/daughter/relative but she does not answer when you call, go ahead and chase her. Don't worry. As long as she doesn't walk like she’s trying to overcome rigor mortis, you should be okay. 3. Don't walk around wearing handcuffs for two hours. Find a way to get those suckers off. 4. When the gray children appear and walk toward you, don't stand there and think “aww, poor victimized kids”. Fucking run. And shoot them. 5. This would be a good opportunity to discuss weaponry. Long-distance weapons are preferred. So stock up on some guns. None of that baseball bat shit, please. 6. If you see a large man walking around with a giant knife/sword, do not stand there and stare at his naked tush. Remember, ladies: while a toned bum is nice, being raped before and after having your flesh ripped off is not. 7. When the siren goes off, get to the church. I don’t give a damn if you’re apprehensive about those crackpot religious nuts on acid. Just get there. If your friends refuse to go, leave them. You’ll make new ones. 8. If you find a disheveled and crazy woman dressed in rags who is not being harmed by the creatures of Hell-ness, you should listen to what she says now and then. Even if she does tend to mutter incoherently. 9. Don’t lock yourself in the school bathroom. The janitor will come after you with his not-so-sexy barbed-wire-bound body. And the tongue. Ew, God, avoid the tongue. 10. If you have a sexy, kick-ass blonde cop with you, do not—even by accident—condemn her to death. If you do, you deserve to die. 11. Nurses with scalpels are attracted to light. Don’t go “What was that?” when they gurgle at you, because I doubt they’re saying “Come, let us guide you safely to the demon!” Just throw the damn flashlight at their faces and run. 12. Don’t cry. There’s no time for crying. If you’re with someone and he/she starts crying, leave him/her. They’ll only be your downfall in the end. 13. If barbed wire bursts from the ground, cross your legs and keep your girl thingy out of the way. 14. If something with a nasty hole in its chest comes toward you, don’t stand there. You will be sprayed with acid and your friends will possibly laugh as you scream like a little girl. 15. When and if you feel the presence of a loved one but cannot see them, don’t look around to find them. They’re probably in the safe dimension where they’re not being chased by bloodthirsty monsters. 16. Go ahead and let the psycho cult leader stab you. The demon will be released, they will all die, and you get to leave with your precious daughter/friend/relative. But give the incoherently mumbling woman in rags a hug before you leave, because she needs one. --- here is my zombie weapon...since it is hard to describe I will take a pic ^^ Yes, that is a stuffed cow. Hmm...it needs a cool name. But trust me, that thing hurts like hell and its about that same length as a baseball bat and made of metal. What is it, you ask? Well, its part of my Christmas tree. xD --- (Here is the song I am listening to. It felt appropriate. I'd so be listening to this song during a zombie attack, just follow the lyrics xD Sorry if lyrics aren't exactly exact, had to type em' myself. I'll let Jenn move this to its respected place xD) "Zombies Ate My Neighbors" by Single File Call the neighbor kids with trashcan lids And buckets on their heads Cause I'm tellin' you We're gonna need a little help tonight So hey man, Check this out Downtown's a riot and somethin's spreadin' through the crowd Try channel nine, I'm pretty sure they're headed straight for this part of town I can't be certain but I swear I hear em just outside There is no way this is real So count me in! Call the neighbor kids with trash can lids And buckets on their heads Cause I'm tellin' you We're gonna need a little help tonight So grab something sharp, find some cover Kill the lights and nail the backdoor shut This isn't funny anymore Oh no, this means war Don't take this the wrong way But I'd rather choke and die then Sit alone and fall without a fight So call the neighbor kids with trashcan lids And buckets on their heads Cause I'm tellin' you We're gonna need some help tonight (repeat) And there she was, glaring Through olive eyes and chalk-white skin I want you to know That I won't be holding back tonight She stole my heart But I'll be taking hers before full on dark now But look at the brightside It's not like she had one there to start So grab something sharp, find some cover Kill the lights and nail the backdoor shut This isn't funny anymore Oh no, this means war And something tells me its gonna be a long night Call the neighbor kids with trashcan lids And buckets on their heads Cause I'm telling you We're gonna need a little help tonight (repeat x 3)
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Post by D'Artagnan on Sept 21, 2007 21:24:28 GMT -5
Rules of Zombie Warfare:
1: There are two different levels of Zombie Warfare. A) Get a Helmet. B) Put the fucking helmet on.
2:Gun are great, but Blades don't need Reloading
3:When using blades, Poke em with the sharp side.
4:Considering a Zombie Invasion would put everyone in an unstable position, it is wise to not be a jerk. Be nice to the people with weapons.
5: Have one to two Zombie Buddies. Trust these ZBs with everything. Only them. You don't need ten people all complaining when the zombies eat someone.
6:Anything you say or do that is stupid or dangerous in any possible way WILL get you thrown to the zombies.
7:As tempting as it sounds, Going up stairs or downstairs isn't a wise decision.
8:If you run out of bullets, Get creative. Your other option is to be eaten. Choose wisely.
9:If someone is to be killed for the good of the rest of the group, remember the rule of teaming: Last in is first out.
10:Don't be a hero. You won't be remembered as the "Guy who took down seven zombies in one shot" But as "The guy who was a freakin' moron and blew himself up"
11:Cars. Good. SUVs. Better. Anything large and nearly indestructible. Best.
12:The Leader has the right, at any time, to kill anyone of their choosing. You may beg to stay in the group, but lets hope you can be pursausive when you are running from flesh eating creatures.
13:If you are injured via zombie; Tell the leader. They will end your misery quickly and won't be as angry.
14:Packing things is good. But remember. The slowest guy gets eaten.
15:Do not waste time trying to clear a building to stay in. Zombies WILL find a way in. Undoubtly.
16:Zombies are stupid. You are intellegent. Your brain works. Why don't you USE it?
17:Anything, if used creativly enough, can be lethal. Have fun with this rule and exercise it as much as you'd like.
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 21, 2007 23:00:08 GMT -5
dude, I forget all the ones we've said in the conversation but there was like 35 when we had to go xD kickass Jenn btw
18. If you wake up and the world is empty, don't freaking call out
19. If someone with red eyes is crawling towards you, do not ask questions
20. If someone tells you urgently to shut the hell up, do it and its best if you dont make much noise at all. If you do, you only get one warning, and this is it, before I bash your skull in
21. Fire is fun.
22. Keep moving, always keep moving.
23. Travelling by daylight seems like a good idea.
24. Never, ever! take the helmet off!
25. Never take off any protective gear.
26. In a zombie situation, don't shave. You have no reason to shave. Open wounds, nice...dumbass
27. You do NOT need to change the tires, just f**king drive!!
28. Don't give the reformed alcoholics alcohol. The only reason you need bottles of liquor is to make flaming bottle bomb things...they dont have an official name cause I said so >.< (Ahem, Sic, do you mean Molotov cocktail? Bottle of alcohol with a rag on it and that acts like the wick?)
29. Unless you are suicidal you probably dont need sleeping pills. Bad idea for when the angry mob attacks you in the middle of the night.
30. If you are in a vehical, or ever a house, always keep windows shut! You should be worried about some undead dead thing's teeth ripping off your face not a healthy breeze. And always keep all arms and legs and god sakes, your f**king head in the ride at all times
31. Stop making noise!! I am not deaf and neither are the freaking murderous zombies who missed breakfast that morning.
32. If your Zombie Buddy is screaming "Keep away from me!" as much as it might hurt, do as they ask and think of it as a last request cause probably they are coming down with something and it probably ain't the flu.
33. If someone is acting odd and not human in a zombie senario don't assume that they are joking. And if you are trying to be funny, well you're not. Jackass.
34. If you are keeping a pet zombie, don't taunt him. Acutally its best not to keep a pet zombie considering that its a zombie, f**ktard.
35. Always, always! have your weapon in arms reach. And know how to freaking use it, we don't need people pissing bullets and not hit anything.
36. Remember all it takes is one. Just one infected to screw it all up for the rest of the group. Do not allow anyone to get infected and still be moving
37. If you've got the shot, don't hesitate. Because pop! there is one behind you got two of 'em on ya. Unpleasant.
38. Hope you can do a pull up, it will probably be needed before the end.
39. Watch out for the crazy guy. There will be one, 100 out of a 100 times. He will betray you and you'll all be eaten. Unless you are the crazy guy, then, by all mean, have a ball.
40. And that's the end of zombie movie one. We will continue again tomorrow xD
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Post by D'Artagnan on Sept 22, 2007 20:23:18 GMT -5
40: There is always one damsel in distress. Kill her.
41: If YOU are the damsel in distress. Just shut the fuck up and don't let anybody know.
42: If you find a place that seems untouched by zombies. Don't stay for long, it simply means it there next stop of corruption
43:Zombies do look like celebrities, Feel free to make a game from this.
44:It is wise to watch all zombie related things; This is the only thing you can arm yourself with in information during an attack. If someone claims: "I know what to do! I watched Dawn of the Dead" Listen to them. They actually know what they are talking about.
45:Don't ever make fun of the people who plan out zombie invasion saftey manuvers. Coz if that ever does happen, guess who has the last laugh.
46:Say your name every twenty mintues. Even if no one is there. The unintroduced guy is always the first to die.
47:Never, ever, let someone lock you up in a confined area and take away your weapons. Just throw yourself to the zombies now.
48:Any attempt to get rid of a perfectly good weapon for a cheesy one (IE, A crowbar for a croquet mallet) will get your head caved in on the spot.
49:Scary infected pregnant woman equals scary infected zombie baby.
50:Wave, Jump, scream, setting fires or anything to draw attention to your place on top of a building WILL be ignored by passing helicopters. Don't waste your time.
51:If anyone dies at any point and looks unsual. Set them on fire. Right there. Don't wait and gawk and ask "I wonder whats gonna happen"
52:IQ must be over room tempature, if it isn't. You're bait.
53:Clothing must be able to carry the following: Flashlight, Two hand guns, a knife, extra ammo, shotgun and if possible a rocket launcher. No Capes. You aren't a super hero.
54:Keep laughing bitches. I'll make sure that you "Don't get eaten by the zombies" when they attack.
55:Awh. Poor Mommy got chomped on by a zombie. How horrible. Shoot her.
56:Never, ever, say that a gun mounted on the wall isn't real. You never know.
57:If one person runs towards you guys with a mob of zombies on his tail, shouting to open the door. Shrug and motion that you can't hear him.
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 24, 2007 3:52:53 GMT -5
lol Dawn of the Dead, "Civil unrest is still being reported." xDD
58. Your husband just tried to eat your face, what do you do? Well, I can tell ya what not to do, don't be like "Louis...?" Cause his attention will wander back over to you.
59. As soon as you get the time, weld metal bars to any windows in house or vehical.
60. As said above, do not deliver the pregnant zombie girl's baby.
61. Someone tells you "not to go that way." and they are still alive and have been that way, don't question their knowledge.
62. Zombies are always hungry, don't assume otherwise.
63. If you are playing a pregnant lady, walk like one, don't walk normal only with a pad on your belly. (not a rule, but it annoys me the way she walks >.<)
64. Glass is brittle and will break, the question is just when. Go find an armored truck.
65. Try to refrain from being the stupid jackass who wonders off alone. Temping, I know, but you will be killed.
66. You will probably be jumpy, but when a zombie runs into the glass doors don't let your gun go off, cause this idoitic unfortunate event will shatter them.
67. If you happen to see a shadow moving under a door, don't open it. Nothing good could come from this action.
68. Always kill the people that have been bitten.
69. Can we just kill the useless jackass rent-a-cops? For my sake please, they get on my nerves.
70. Watch the news. You missed it? Why? Because you were too busy getting your groove on....no comment.
71. Zombies are people too...its not their fault. But seeing is that they are trying to kill you with their bare hands, don't get all human rights emotional on me. They surrenered unshootable status when the dumbasses were stupid enough to get bitten in the first place.
72. *zombies mob mall* "What are they?" "I dunno" "...Why are they coming here?" "Instict maybe." Okay, when you see dead things mobbing, why would you even wonder what they are? I mean have you never in your life watched a zombie movie?! And as for instict, what the hell, when has it ever been an instict to go to the mall??
73. If you happen to be a security guard in a zombie attack, you're offically out of work, you do not need to worry about me stealing shit. What am I going to do with it? Walk through the zombie orgie to carry my plasma tv home?
74. "Don't worry." Haha, nice one.
75. Probably best not to listen to the religious pyscos. It won't be good for anyone's moral.
76. Atleast its not like Silent Hill. You could be running through dead nasties in like hell.
77. Stop bitching about your latte. Yeah I want one too, but seeing how I have bigger problems you don't see me complaing.
78. If the lights are on a timer to come on at a certain time, don't be lazy and tell someone to leave safety to go turn them off, just so you can get your beauty sleep. Lights are good, it allows you to see the zombies.
79. If you are a guy don't be a perv.
80. If your friend is twitching in a fountain...
81. Even though they are jackasses, they probably have a point.
82. Never go outside with only a gun. Guns...you got what, 10 shots max. I dunno. You better had. And you better have a back up plan when you run out.
83. Sorry, we don't accept credit cards or people who have been bitten.
84. I ain't doin' shit for you for cash at this point. Don't waste your breath.
85. Dude, stop being stupid! If they have been bitten and you've seen what happens, kill the bitch and keep your bodily parts away from her mouth.
86. Apparently fat zombies run fast too.
87. People have not been having babies for millions of years. Talk to your screen writer.
88. Poor roof guy. Oh, if you are stuck in a mall, you might as well as have fun. Pegging the zombies with golf balls is fun xD
89. Send the gay guy to toture your jackass prisoners.
90. Poor guy on the roof! Go sacrfice one of the lackies to go rescue him, dammit. He's cool and useful. What do you do? Nothing.
91. Let your lackies walk in front and behind you. Just cause I'm the leader doesn't mean that I am gonna lead. xD
92. Where is my tank? Or helicopter?
93. I think the military would be more useful. If there is anyone from the U.S militia who happens to read this, please come up with a plan for a zombie attack that doesn't evolve nukes. Call us whatever you want, but when the shit hits the fan, you'll be sorry you didn't have a plan.
94. If someone in your group says they saw something, don't question their credibilty. They probably did see something.
95. You are gonna be scarred for life anyways, no need to hold back now.
96. Omg, eww pregnant woman and her child are now zombies. Please, I am begging you, you do not need this in your life. Just no.
97. Muzzling the zombie doesn't make it anymore safe. It just makes you a pysco.
98. Father is gonna be pretty emotionally torn up about his zombie wife and kid, he lost it long ago.
99. If you are not sure if they were bitten and they are dead, and even if you are, another blow to the head wouldn't hurt.
100. If you can't beat them, let's not join 'em.
101. ALWAYS listen to the people that are smarter then you! and NEVER let the dumbasses do anything without supervision.
(Best part is when the make up the bus, chainsaws classic. xDD. )
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 24, 2007 4:14:54 GMT -5
102. Be careful with the chainsaws...
103. Just shoot the person who has what you want and they are being a asshole.
104. Two words. Machine Gun.
105. Another two. Rocket Launcher.
106. I can keep this going. Pipe Bomb. xD
107. There are two types of jackass. The ones that are always assholes and the ones who grow a heart, be whichever one you want, but either way your chances of dying are high.
108. Stating your name doesn't always help. If you recall Resident Evil 2, that Nicholi guy was introducing himself to Valentine then before he even finished and then the dog attacked him. But your chances are better. (But when you first see him, he doesn't say his name. First Twenty minutes expired.)
109. Islands w/o freshwater or food are bad. Especially if you out of gas. You probably aren't Survivor Man. Go get Les Strout.
110. Dog runs away, you know nothing good will come.
111. Are zombies ediable?
(Have you watched the bonus features? Andy the Roof Guy is weird, perhaps it was best he didn't speak. WooT! Phones and tv are down, but the internet still works, looks like me and you Jenn are in luck xD)
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Post by D'Artagnan on Sept 24, 2007 10:31:26 GMT -5
112: RAC; Rent-A-Cop, Really-Appetizing-Corpse. Hmm.
113:When a zombie comes running at you, screaming in fear and cowering might will NOT defeat it, but brings it buddies to you.
114:If you think you are safe, you aren't. Find another place.
115:Any of the following noises should not make you stop and ponder, but start hurrying away: Gurgles, Grunts, Growls, Hisses, Thudding, and any sounds related to the body that aren't speech or bodily functions.
116:Yay. You've defeated a zombie. But I'm sure its friends aren't too happy about that.
117:Don't ever let anyone take your weapons. If they try, consider them to be a zombie and blow them away. Feel free to take there weapons.
118:Imagine there is a ten foot radius around you, any undead chow hound that enter said circle are to be killed on spot.
119:Zombies are stupid. They know what food is and they know how to run. Otherwise, nothing else is in those noggins, except possibly Little Bunny Foo-Foo or elevator Musik.
120:Setting Zombies on fire is a good way to kill and get rid of the bodies. Mind you, when zombies are set on fire they start a stumbling dance routine. Stay far away and enjoy the show.
121:It is 100% okay to turn you IPod on with some heavy rock songs while preparing the enter battle.
122:When driving a car that is in pursuit by a zombie, merely drive by a unsuspecting individual. The zombies have ADD, and will leave you alone.
123:So you were getting your groove on . Hm. How nice. But when little Suzy takes a bite out of your neck the next morning. You're gonna wish you had taken the night off.
124:Zombies don't eat dogs. Take this into account.
125:Zombies don't eat dogs. Therefore, you don't have to run after him when he goes romping along in the zombie hordes.
126:So, The love of your life has chased you down. You managed to escape from his Flesh-eating blood soaked rampage by hiding in the bathroom. Now, you can open the door and see if he now loves you. Or escape out the window and out of the corner you've been backed into. Choose wisely.
127:Watch your zombie buddies back. They will watch yours. Ever seen the ending fight of Mr and Mrs. Smith? Don't be afraid to get like that.
128:If you fail the above rule, remember, there is a million zombies, and one of you. Wish you had shot that single zombie that ripped out a hunk of flesh from your Zombie buddy, don'tcha?
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 24, 2007 17:13:16 GMT -5
(Lol I was so going to say the iPod one xDD Except with dance music. So I'll be all hyper and happy and dancing while all this is going on.)
129. Remember though all dogs might not go to heaven. You see a dog that's all red and gorey, his intestines dragging along side of him, please don't call it to you. He will eat your face.
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Post by Demonflame on Sept 25, 2007 13:55:16 GMT -5
(Oh god, now i'm adding to the zombie-ness!) 1. If a big guy in a jacket chases you yelling,"Stars!" Don't look up at the sky, wondering which one he is talking about... 2. If you're not sure if someone is alive, call their damn cell phone, if they don't answer, good chance that they're dead! 3. Contrary to popular belief, zombie dogs CAN run, they CAN jump, and they have NO pain receptors, so don't kick them and hope that'll deter them, it won't! 4. If you're a guy, and you're with a bunch of other guys, don't think about your next lay, if you need some that bad, kill a zombie chick and use her, i'm sure she won't mind. (Warning:Make sure said zombie chick is DEAD!) 5. No matter how good you think you are with a gun, DON'T run down the street with the clip empty, as soon as you kill something, reload the bit**! 6.Whatever you do, DO NOT let the retarded friend drive the car, he's going to get you killed! 7. While it sounds like a good idea at the time, getting drunk during a zombie infection is not a good idea, but if you have too, drink the shit while getting eaten, might make for a good laugh watching a drunk zombie! ;D 8. If you're out of ammo, and you're using a gun longer than your arm span, f**king use THAT as a weapon, don't toss it away! 9. If a guy with a jacket asks you if you want a gun, then tells you to pay for it, shoot the asshole and take the gun! 10. While it might sound like a bad idea to sacrifice a friend, espically the one you're supposed to save, if they have on a suit of armor, let THEM be the bait, 9 times out of 10 they'll get out alive! 11. If it really comes down to it, blow yourself up, rather than being turned, make it easier on your friends and family!(Sicarius!) and this one is just to be the sick minded guy that i am... 12. if you watch the credits of a zombie movie and see 2 girls real close, ASSUME they're NOT zombies, cause i've never seen 2 zombies cuddle... 13. while keeping a pet zombie sounds like fun, it's probably a good idea to attach more than 1 chain to him, espically if you're holed up someplace with glass, and if you put him in the garage or shed, DON'T stick your hand in his face, he doesn't want to give you a high five anymore!
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Post by D'Artagnan on Sept 26, 2007 16:52:51 GMT -5
130:Alright, so all the zombies have been locked underground and are contained. You want to reopen the place were they all are. Maybe you haven't thought out this cunning plan of yours.
131:The Cop you suspend will be the one to save you. Remember this.
132:If the girl who walks into a building kills all zombies in one shot and blasts the handcuffs of your wrist without harming you. Then suggest an idea...Listen.
133:Alright. You walk outside, everything is a disaster and no one is to be found. Your next step is NOT to wander around saying"Where'd eveybody go?"
134:A person next to you hits the ground and start twitching and snarling. Bending down and getting REALLY close to him or her isn't the smartest move.
135:When running in heels, unless you are a female heroine, The heel will break and lead you to your death.
136:If someone is about to leap off a building, and they've been bitten, don't waste you breath. Instead, push them over, that way they don't chicken out and come back to rip your jugular vein out of your neck at at later date.
137:If heavily armed guards point there gun at someone under acting suspiciously and shout 'GET AWAY FROM HIM' Listen.
138:Find. The. Armory. I don't care if you are white, black, female, male, missing an eye, or completely unstable. Find the f**king armory.
139:"The virus has now reached the gates, we can't let you leave. Please, have a nice trip home and a good nights rest. Thank you"
140:Ask yourself when adding people to your team, If an unarmed elementry school student has better chances of surviving than this dipshit. Leave him behind.
141:Should a pay-phone ring in the middle of a invasion, Answer it, whats the worst that could happen? Someone could offer you a way out or the line could go dead.
142:If the above rule applies, Do anything said person asks. No matter how ludacris it sounds, its your only ticket out of experiencing a nuclear bomb first hand.
143:If you've got an IQ over room temperature, IT isn't hard to hack a computer, especially if its the computer of a high security monopoly of a company trying to control something it has done accidentally that could kill millions of people.
144:Because Irony rules above all; Churches are always infestated with bad guys, either a lot of little one or a few big ones. Either way, its gonna suck.
145:If a person is keeping a pet zombie behind your back and feeding it innocent people that could've been useful. They should be fed to the zombie, and then both are to receive gunshots to the head.
146:In order for a zombie to be pronounced dead, it has to have the brain disconnected from the body. although, if you really wanna be sure, just remove the head from the body.
147:Priests and anyone who works in a church will be no help to you at all. A lot of good a bible does against a hoard of zombies. What do you do with it? Throw it and hope one trips on it or stubs its toe?
148:"What the f**k is that?" Is a question that will be asked often, Sure, witty comments could gain you a laugh, but they could also gain you a few gunshot holes to the body.
149:Watch out for any villain that can't control its tongue or keep it in its mouth; They are usually a pain and somewhat perverted. (As said above)
150:The proper way to greet someone who has just saved your ass from several bad guys is not: "Who the f**k are you?"
151:Its okay to run away from zombies; Don't worry, I'm sure the others would agree.
152:Hmm. Zombie invasion. Graveyard. Why not?
153:There will always be one or two complete ass-kicking-gun-slinging-knife-wielding-informed bad asses in the group. You can listen to them, or you can listen to the guy who thought opening the doors so the zombies could come into the real world was a bright idea.
154:If anything gets dropped from a helicopter, don't waste your time going to check it out. Run the opposite way. Because something is pissy, and its weapons have just be delivered.
154:"We don't need weapons! We need evactuation!" No. Shit.
155:If you are a incredible sharpshooter, you can be cocky. Its cool.
156:Greeting a new comer by letting everyone arm and point a gun at him is understandable.
157:If you shoot something that is seven foot tall, growling, and armed with a rocket launcher and it does NOT go down with a .45 Caliber shot, Do NOT stick around to see if another shot will make it. Get. The. f**k. Out.
158:If said bad guy aims his rocket launcher at you, and there is no escape. Drop your weapons, he may take pity on you and stomp off to go kill something else.
159:Best people to have in an invasion: PMSing Women. Thats why we don't have a female president, ever 28 days a small country would be wiped off the map.
160:Don't ever use the excuse "I can't shoot a gun. Its not hard. Point. Pull. Repeat. Also, aiming for the head is good.
161:Don't think you'd be able to live through the bomb. If they are going to get rid of the infection, They'll get rid of EVERYTHING.
162:If the Big Black Soldier guy gets bitten, Shoot him why he is defenseless, Do you really want him coming back as a starving zombie?
163:The ass-kicking chick demands you run away. Listening would be a good idea.
164:If your going to fill a room with gas and light something to throw in. Do it in style.
165:If someone is doing something and really focusing on it. Making a loud noise or a distracting movement will get a gun aimed at you and possibly fired.
166:When you get a bite of flesh taken out of you, and it doesn't stop bleeding (And you know you have no other health problems that would stop clotting) you shouldn't casually point it out, but maybe be somewhat alarmed by this.
167:Lickers. Creepy. Zombies. Freaky. Nemesis. Terrifying. But nothing is worse than zombie children. Stay away from the school.
168:"Don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen" Ha, we have a comedian do we?
169:ANYONE who speaks with a British Accent is probably, or related to, someone who knows everything about the invasion. Keep them close.
170:Your first impression of dog zombies should not be: Aren't you a good boy?
171:It is completely cool to use action lines or cheesy yet witty sayings when fighting.
172:Zombies hide everywhere, under things, in things, behind, in front of, inside, on top of things. Just look everywhere, no matter how ridiculous it may seem.
173:Face it, the kid is already scarred for life. No need to hold back now.
174:Frying pans are a VERY good weapon. Short range, but damn.
175:What do you have? Zom-dar?
176:Nothing is never as easy as it seems.
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 27, 2007 1:36:06 GMT -5
177. If there are people in your group who have seen every zombie movie on the planet and obsess over them, its okay to do what they tell you.
178. Just wait, the dumbfucks and the total creeps will get what they've got comin'
179. Just because they are gonna snuff it doesn't mean you can't speed the process along
180. Kick the asthmatics out now.
181. If you get the chance to rest, stock up on supplies, eat or take a piss, do it. Cause when the zombies are comin' in on all sides you are gonna wish you did.
182. Okay, if something is coming towards from the sky in the form of meteor. Do NOT watch it and wait for it to hit you. Cause it will.
183. If someone has a hole in their middle don't be the dumbass who says "Are you all right mate?" Cause I will shoot you.
184. Growling is a warning telling you that something bad is coming and pissed off. Proceed to run.
185. Things are still falling from the sky, you see a car ahead of you in a crash do you (A) Check it out, see who's inside and poke her? or (B) Be a total ass and keep driving? I think we both know the answer.
186. You boyfriend is outside your car, he screams in pain and disappears. Now your car starts to shake. You do not get out of the car and you certainly don't wait for it to get inside. What do you do? Drive, bitch, drive!!
187. It's raining and you start to sizzle. Don't look up...
188. I don't why its raining acid or how that's related to zombies. But wash off asap.
189. A guy just saves your life by blowing a zombie to pieces, you do not have to run away from this man.
190. Stripping down is a bad idea, the more clothes the better. Less of a chance to have your flesh ripped off and/or being infected.
191. Don't worry, you are totally allowed to be kickass.
192. You do NOT have to see if anyone's hurt. Most likely they are, there is nothing you can do and they are now zombies.
193. Don't watch as a zombie tears out the heart of your friend and proceeds to eat it. Firstly, you'll be traumatized and secondly, you'll be next.
194. You can stay with the creepy guy who saved your life, so long as he isn't threatening you. Once he starts endangering yourself or your zombie buddies you may ditch him or kill him.
195. Once you shoot the lock off of the door you can no longer lock it...lets think this through people.
196. Irish guys are cool. Crazy bastards who have an accent. Most likely they will die but they will go out drunk and cussing and takin' out a fuckload of zombies with 'em.
197. Some zombies are harder to kill then others. Remember this and plan accordingly.
198. If you must descend into a basement, do not leave the zombies above you and the door fucking open. Close the door!
199. Most zombies are slow, but that is no excuse to take your time about it.
200. Crazy man will have weapons and a bomb shelter and double ask kickass shooter.
201. If there are no zombies stop waving your guns around while you are having a break down. People will get hurt.
202. Competitions and past issues no longer matter, since the coming of the end of the world. Be a bitch and tell me that you are better at me at whatever and I will put a bullet through your eyes and feed you to the zombies.
203. If you proceed to build a bomb shelter....why is it empty? It needs water and food and guns to be any use to anyone. And a latrine couldn't hurt either.
204. Never sit next to the propane tank.
205. Lol! Zombie fishes!! If you get killed by these, you deserve death.
206. Fish! Hahaha!!
207. Cops are not doctors, don't assume they know how to deliver a baby.
208. Let the pregnant lady and her husband find some other place to hide. They are more trouble then they are worth.
209. Always assume that zombies rely on sight and sound to navigate. Turn off anything that makes noise and lights up. It will be your downfall.
210. One shot will always bring more zombies to your location, keep your ass moving.
211. Why would you roll across a table when you could just take two steps to get to the same place?
212. I don't care where you hit it, a 9mm round will not cut a zombie in half.
213. Wow...three shot guns tied together and rigged to fire simultaneously is a great idea.
214. I know its scary and you are freaked out but please try and hold it together.
215. The guy you are with has been kickass so far why question his every movement. And further more why would you, the guy who did jack shit so far 'cept bitch, be allowed to drive?
216. Zombies = Gore. You will probably need to hurl at some point. It's okay. Eventually you'll be desensitized to it all.
217. First, follow your brain. If that plan fails follow your instincts. That's why God gave them to you.
218. Climbing the wall with spikes coming out of it that you don't know how high it goes on for, is a bad idea.
219. Everyone starts to cough mysteriously. No you don't all have a cold. Get a fucking gas mask.
220. Acid rain means everyone gets to be naked. Hope you're sexy xD
221. Okay, Undead is a weird ass movie.
222. Let's go into the zombie infested town in out tidy whities!!...Why?
223. Always wear your tidy whities...eww
224. You can eat in the car. Get your things and get out. Stop making alot of noise and fucking around.
225. If you've got the room, bring it. Even if you don't think you'll need it.
226. "Not only did I survive the fish attack and the alien abduction but I got out without a scratch." Okay first of all...who the fuck wrote this? and secondly....I suppose we should follow this guy cause you can't make that shit up.
227. Feeding the Zombies Red Bull cannot help your situation in any possible way. What, do they have some sort of Red Bull allergy that will cause them to istantly stop eating your face? No, I'll tell you what will happen, you'll have some hyped up zombies on your hands. Good one, dumbass.
228. Attaching a saw blade to a broom handle is okay. Long range is always appreciated. Especially it will be me who has to deal with your sorry ass when you get bitten.
229. Never allow anything to block your view of your surroundings.
230. If you are already being hoisted over 100 feet in the air, stop trying to free yourself. Gravity is a hard foe to contend with.
231. Just pray that you are lucky enough to get through the intial shock of a zombie attack.
232. Infection spreads fast in a crowd. Never find yourself in one cause it will be a clusterfuck of zombies in 5 minutes flat.
233. Spikes literally scream pain.
234. To qualify as a zombie, it must be corpse like and mindless, it can be killed through the head only, and it spreads via bite wounds or mixing of bodily fluids. Otherwise its just a lame zombie.
235. The strong ones are always the ones left. But I'd rather be lucky then strong.
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 27, 2007 5:16:31 GMT -5
236. Kill the guy who's gone apeshit.
237. Pretend you are playing Halo and do all the Halo things you've always wanted to do in real life.
238. Okay, so your gun has clicked empty, do not just stand their and look at it as the zombies crawl towards you.
239. Before enter a car or plane make double sure that there aren't zombies in it.
240. Also before you go to a new country, building, safe zone, car, plane or helicopter make sure no one in your group is infected.
241. I'm sure if you ask Alice nicely that she'll give you the antivirus.
242. If you think about it a scarf really is a good anti zombie armor. As is knee high boots, thick pants, a coat, gloves and a helmet. So long as it doesn't slow you down or limit your movements, wear it!
243. Zombies have teeth, not fangs.
244. If your friend is being attacked by a zombie don't stand there and watch him like the blonde dumbshit you are. Do something!
245. Helicopter blade....duck
246. Zombie children aren't children, they are just zombies miniaturized. Its alright to shoot the little bastards.
247. Who doesn't recognize a mall when they see one? Man this movie is old.
248. If the zombies don't move more then at a sad crawl, you have no reason to die.
249. Zombies can't climb ladders. They can be useful to you though.
250. Do you think you could get zombies to eat Spam?
251. Narrow hallways and places you can be easily mobbed from both sides should always be avoided.
252. Yes the music in the mall can cover your noise, but that can go both ways.
253. If you are in a big place, say a mall, bring a map with you.
254. If you cannot get the door open and the first few tries, go down a few stores and try again.
255. Never let the zombies take your gun....
256. If the Marines/Cop guys can't do it what makes you think you can? and further more what makes you think that they need your help?
257. Don't shoot the shadow of the zombie. Only shoot the zombie itself. Unless its some freaky Peter Pan zombie...
258. When opening doors or leaving any kind of safety be prepared and alert of what's gonna be out there.
259. If your buddy gets ambushed by a zombie and is sitting there struggling with it, don't say you can't get a clean shot, get over there and beat it in the head.
260. How many times do we have to say it. NEVER split up. Always travel in at least groups of two.
261. If you get killed by a zombie with a tamberine....
262. I just got attacked by a zombie, do not try to comfort me by telling me about the great stuff you got while you were gone...
263. If you are pregnant you shouldn't be smoking.
264. Be wary of the cop that knows how to abort a baby...I can't even fathom how or why he knows how to do that.
265. Yes, block the entrances, kill the zombies in your hideout, but do NOT be lulled into a sense of security.
266. ALWAYS be on your guard!
267. Yes you can come with us, but only if you can take care of yourself and can still watch our backs.
268. If I'm staying behind its only fair that I get a weapon. Don't be a total prick if I ask for one. How about I leave you behind defenseless.
269. If you are a cocky prick you will die. Oh see, here comes death, because you were too busy Yeehaa-ing to notice the zombies surrounding you.
270. Yes that thing beating on your windshield is a zombie.
271. No, he's not alright, he's infected dumbass.
272. Is anything really worth your life? Is going back really worth the f**king bag?
273. If you don't feel comfortable killing your infected friends at the very least, muzzle them, chain them to the ground and stick them in a cage for their final hours.
274. If there is a gun store, go there, take all you can carry and then get a truck and bring the rest.
275. Learn how to open and close the doors.
276. Swords!! Machete, anything please. Sharp things are your friends. Please if you die in the Dawn of the Dead the original senario, you are laaame!
277. If you are trapped in a mall, have some fun man.
278. Its okay to have light cheery music to lighten the mood =3
279. Its okay to rob places for all their worth, but only if you have the time.
280. Check entrances regularly for breaks and weak spots. Wood is better then glass, metal better then wood.
281. Just pump some air in the guys veins and hit him in the head with an ice pick, he's dying and in pain and out of his mind.
282. "I figured out how to stay alive and I'm trying to help you dumbass." As are we, so listen to the people who know.
283. Target practice is nice, just don't waste all your bullets.
284. Always keep an eye on the infected person in your midst.
285. TV broadcasters, you could be nice and show reruns.
286. If you are nice and not a dumbass I will share my hideout with you. Otherwise, you'll have to go.
287. Don't anyone ever come anywhere close to stealing your chopper.
288. You are allowed to mug the zombies at your own risk.
289. Never piss off the military men. They will shoot you.
290. If there is more then 5 of you, you can find your own mall.
291. Always have more the way to get to your hideout. Also have atleast two exits. Memorize all the exits and ways of travel in your hideout. This is essential.
292. Actually you had better be able to do a one armed pull up.
293. If you are in an elevator, you can atleast close the doors while you wait for backup.
294. Big eyed blondes seem to be able to take care of themselves. I dunno why. Maybe its the eyes...
295. If you are the prick that let all the zombies in my mall, I will throw you to them.
296. If your friend becomes zombiefied, kill him. He will lead the other zombies to you and will be sad, because will be dead.
297. When the zombies come, go to your helicopter.
298. Okay, some zombies seem quite capable of climbing ladders, I'm don't know how this works, the f**ktards can barely walk so I dunno, but knock over the ladder when you're through with it.
299. Make up your mind, do you want to come with me or be left behind? Stop switching back and forth otherwise I will leave your ass.
300. Always listen to your zombie buddy and since mine wants 500 zombie rules, onward we go.
301. You are allowed to put on any accent you want, so long as you are understandable when you need to be and don't get on my nerves.
302. You are allowed at any time say the phrase "You got red on you."
303. It is never okay to utter the phase, "Atleast its not the end of the world."
304. Perhaps England isn't that best place to go. Its an island and prone to zombie attacks.
305. Never be as dim as Shaun in the beginning and walk two blocks without noticing anything was amiss.
306. If the zombie doesn't here you the first time you can throw rocks at it.
307. Never assume the zombie in question is drunk.
308. If all emergancy lines are busy, its safe to say the worse is happening.
309. Go ahead, bludgen the zombies, the have a sitdown for a cup of tea and maybe a crumpet
310. Curtains don't stop zombies.
311. If your zombie senario is more the like Shaun of the Dead, take a humorous possition, get a cricket paddle and go to town
312. "Yeah...I framed it." "But you were parked!" Don't ever let this happen to you.
313. Swing like crazy.
314. Arguing about whether or not dogs can or can't look up is not appropriate in such a situation. And frankly who really gives a shit.
315. ...I'm pretty sure they can look up by the way.
316. Would playing like a zombie work? I vote we send one of the lackies to try it.
317. Don't hideout in a place with lots of windows.
318. Like said previously, anything used creatively enough can be leathal. Take a paper weight for example.
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Post by Sicarius on Sept 28, 2007 4:45:10 GMT -5
319. Take a sword and tape is to your sword. I know this sounds weird, but its a good idea. Now you have a gun and a sword all in one! ^^
320. Kill the man who sharpens his teeth as soon as possible.
321. Never crawl towards the zombie baby that just attacked you. (courtesy of meh mommy)
322. If you can control it never let the zombies mob. Mobs are bad, mobs are where you die and the zombies have lunch.
323. Best not to work in a place underground that deals with the development of biochemical weapons.
324. Never place your head in a vulnerable place i.e. outside the doors of an elevator.
325. Never go into an elevator in a zombie scenario.
326. You find a red dress laying on your bed, you are in for a wild ride.
327. If your wedding ring is the property of the corporation you work for...know that something's up and it ain't pretty
328. There are no survivors in creepy locked down facilities, not when the Red Queen wants you dead anyways.
329. Oh god, never let the main power shut off. Yes the little girl is creepy and a bitch but don't do it. Just blow the place up and get the hell outa dodge.
330. You see a bunch of cages with holes in them, walk the other way.
331. If you are a scientist why can't you do experiments on something soft and cute like bunnies? Why rottweilers? Come on guys, think this through.
332. I mean, I could kick a bunny pretty far if it came down it. Especially a mutant zombie bunny.
333. Never place your back against any kind of metal mesh fence thing. You will be grabbed and eaten.
334. Save Rain, she's cool. If you can't keep your face away from hers and make sure she's good n dead before you try to shoot her. 335. If there is an anti virus, shoot your new boyfriend with it asap. Cause he was kinda cute....til the sequel.
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Post by D'Artagnan on Sept 28, 2007 14:15:48 GMT -5
336:If you wake up; Naked, in a place you can't remember, and can't answer simple questions like: Your Name, age, and what you were last doing before your lovely little nap. This is a sure sign that there is going to be something very, very horrible about to happen.
337:While in your searches, you find a drawer with a glass protecting guns waiting for a keycode. Ask yourself, Do I really have the time to sit here and try combos?
338:Oh, as a hint. No. You don't. Break the damn glass and take the goodies.
339:Mutant Bunnies aren't good. They turn into lickers...Yaknow, the big bad guys that can't control there tongues?
340:You are one of five special Force members investigating a giant building under ground that killed hundreds of people. Do NOT Split up. I don't care how special you are, do NOT!
341:If It don't speak english, it ain't worth your time.
342:Good. One member has their permit, THey are probably wild and crazy and eager to drive. Strap some sharp things on that Car/truck and let that sucker go.
343:If a giant truck comes flying at you to dock in the shipping station of your hideout. Don't worry, They aren't zombies. They were driving and taking out every bloody mongrel they could. And even if they are bitten. Shoot them and take there semi.
344:When you have completed Rule 343; Feel free to exercise 342.
345:When a zombie approaches you, don't ask yourself to shoot or not. Just squeeze the trigger and move on.
346:Listen people. There are only TWO members of the team that I will refuse to shoot unless under dire, dire cirsumstances. Everyone else...You're just a zombie-to-be.
347:I only need two other people in order to survive a zombie invasion, Be happy if I let you come
348:Don't ever let anyone shove you and your comrades into a small room and all the doors are locked. Zombies will get in and it will be a bloodbath.
349:If in a senerio where you are cornered, Don't ever say that we could wait for military. They won't do jack-shit except press a button and blow everything away.
350: I cannot express this enough. Don't take off the damn helmet unless we tell you too, which isn't likely!
351:If the TVs bother you so much, just unplug them. Don't send some poor guy to go shut off the power, You do it.
352:You will run out of bullets at the worst possible time. Keep this in mind.
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Post by D'Artagnan on Sept 29, 2007 19:35:26 GMT -5
353:As seen in above picture and stated previously, ANYTHING can be a weapon.
354:How come no one ever tries tranquilizers in movies? You have that big ass zombie that is killing everyone, Tranq him and shoot him while he is down.
356:You know, Super glue dries on contact, That could get fun.
357:Handcuffing corrdination-less zombies together could be entertaining.
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